Parenting style is defined as a constellation of parents’ attitudes and behaviors toward children and an emotional climate in which the parents’ behaviors are expressed. Parenting styles represent standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. Basically, they are heavily influenced by the socioeconomic environment. The quality of parenting can be more essential than the quantity of time spent with the child. We have discussed below different types of parenting styles.
Types of Parenting Styles
Authoritative parents are firm but not harsh or aggressively punitive. They are open to negotiation, and teach their children constructive relationship and adaptation skills. They love their children and are capable of tough love if needed. Their children grow up to be well-adjusted, independent, and capable of empathy that’s the cornerstone of healthy relating.
Authoritarian parents are dictator parents who primarily use punishment (not reward) to raise their children. For the most part, they give punishment in a fit of temper. Children of authoritarian parents grow up scared, insecure, angry, and maladjusted. Often, as adults, they themselves become authoritarian parents and repeat the same pattern.
Permissive parents do not set boundaries for their children, confusing love with giving their children everything they want. They need their children to approve of them as parents, and thus unwittingly give their children power over them. Their children often become spoiled, and self-absorbed ,and entitled to get their way in life, and when they don’t get it, they have temper tantrums, as they did when they were children.
Narcissistic parents train their children to serve their needs. Instead of being there for their children, their children must be there for them. Their children must tell them what they want to hear (or face their wrath), and sometimes must play the roles of parent to their narcissistic parents. Andometimes their children must fulfill their own blighted ambitions (as with “stage parents”). So, their children grow up needy and lost.
Parents who overprotect their children, like most parents, mean well. But they are acting out their own unconscious insecurities. They are people who are afraid of life and do not allow their children to learn from their own mistakes and develop confidence in themselves. So their children grow up full of fears and anxieties, just like their parents, and do not have the healthy coping skills to take care of themselves.
In general, these are the worst kind of parents. They can be any of the above types, but in addition they pretend to be loving and normal and hide their “venom”. Typically, they do not treat their children with respect as individuals. They won’t compromise, take responsibility for their behavior, or apologize. Often these parents have a mental disorder or a serious addiction.
Here are some tips to cope with toxic parents.
- Stop trying to please them.
- Set and enforce boundaries.
- Even more, be mindful of what you share with them.
- Know your parents’ limitations and work around them — but only if you want to.
- Always have an exit strategy.
- Don’t try to reason with them.
- All in all, Take care of yourself. This might help: 10 Best Practices to Love Yourself